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| Photo Credit to: http://allofus.care/help-a-friend/ |
My friend, as I am writing this, I am inhaling all the rays of memories we've had together, every bit of it, so I can put up the best words of advice I can ever dole out to you.
Dear J.E.,
Hello! You may have heard a lot of sermon and advice from me, but as I always say to you, I am not that eloquent of a speaker than I am in writing.
So I am taking this opportunity to fire them sermons up to you. HAHA I kid!
Anyway, I wrote this because I saw something in you when we were hanging out at Cubao Expo sometime in December 2015. Something very pristine and very kind-----I saw your kind but suffering heart. Just took me a while before I put it into writing
My friend, I've witnessed how you've lived a well-off life back in college when we were just strangers to each other and how generous you have been (even up to now) to your friends. You are one of my examples of a selfless friend who gives more than what he has left in store for him.
Then came the biggest rock in your family's life. One unforgettable strong typhoon hit our country and left the whole nation devastated, it claimed many lives, fortunes, livelihood and business, and that included of your family's business.
From then, I've seen how you stepped up from that tripping moment of your life. I've seen a brave, young and kind man yearning to claim back the life his family worked hard for.
You best describe what a "Kuya" in a family should be like and how should act like.
You took multiple jobs, from being a talent scout, to being a call center agent. Almost all the fortune you earned, you selflessly give to your family for you couldn't stand seeing them rub their tummies at the midst of hunger.
And then there are those occasional bonuses you earned, in which you selflessly spend to us, to your friends and even to those who pretend to be like one to you.
Monetary, material, etc., I cannot even count and thank you enough for being such an appreciative and generous friend to us.
Sometimes it pinches my reverie a bit and think that maybe we too, are to blame for your current relationship status. I can't help but think that maybe we have played a big role in your lack of interest and passion in embracing romantic relationships, maybe we've sucked out all your resources, time and energy that there is nothing left anymore for you to offer that special person you'll come across with someday...
Maybe, we have been very rude, insensitive and too comfortable when teasing you, that we forget you too, are losing your own self-confidence and self-esteem. That maybe these two things slowly leave you which makes it hard for you to appreciate what you have and what you can offer the people you interact with and that one person you like very much now (HMMM... I-NAME DROP KO NA BA DITO? HAHA).
We would like to apologize for forgetting that we might have become egocentric all the time and thought that our friendship only revolved around us: to what we want and not want, to what we think and feel and even to what we want to hear and see.
We apologize for hurting your feelings and making you feel devalued.
For one minute, please do not ever think that you are not precious and important to us.
We are very sorry..
My friend, seeing you suffer from the dilemma of the adults make my heart melt, especially that I see you deliberately make mistakes when in the beginning, you consciously know that it will trip your toe and will leave you stumbled.
First and foremost, you are a smart ass. An ass that possesses different gifts of intelligence. You have a very wise prerogative that I rarely see in people. You do not just possess an academic mind, but a street smart type of intelligence that will take you so far. Please use them wisely.
Another thing is, please, pretend to know the difference between Bolivia and Bosnia. Force yourself to deliberately stop showering your friends with dinner treats, movie treats, spa treats and even doling out of monetary stuffs. I know that this is your happiness, a happiness by giving, but please start saving! We too have work, we also earn as much money as you do, sometimes even higher than yours, so please, stop showering us with these things and start giving them to yourself or just deposit them in your retirement account. WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, we are not your inanaak!
You do not need to shower us with these things to validate your worth to us. We love you and you are important to us, even without these things.
As your friends, it pains us to see you living by a pay check every single cut off of your life. we don't want that to happen to you for the rest of your working career.
Next is, focus on what you really want. We see you work at day and study at night and it amazes us. You are fucking cheesedog with a salsa dressing! Whew! You really wow us with your determination and persistence, but do keep your eyes focused on the goal, and by goal, I mean the vision you have why you're doing these things.
Do align your small choices and actions to that goal you wake up to thinking everyday. If you really want to be a lawyer someday, then there are luggage that need to be jettisoned in order for your sail to be smooth. Study hard, avoid bad influence friends, those friends who pretentiously hug you and say their "Kamusta?" to you but are never concerned about your whole being . We cannot choose for you, you have to do it your self, some of them only drags you down and makes you take your eyes from your goal for they only care about the happy times you can offer, but never about your DREAMS!
Another is you are a good friend and son to your family. You deserve a love that will bring out the best in you, and you need to find that perfect love from that ONE person FIRST...And that LOVE is from YOU.
Do not ever think that you are unattractive and ugly just because all of your friends are going out on a date every weekend while you remain to either be at home or their third wheel.
Love is more than that, it's not just about having a pretty face, sizzling physique, and a fat wallet.
Love is something intrinsically you have in you that you offer other people. You should have that love first first before you give that love to that other person.
Do not expect that you can give an overwhelming love to her, when in the first place, the very example of love you can find (from your self) is very little.
You cannot give what you do not have, remember? (Oh, my, it's 2016 already and I still have the same mantra about love HAHA LOL).
Maybe the reason why you're still single is because God deems it right that you are not yet ready, (AT LEAST FOR NOW), to take on bigger challenges in loving another person.
"Learning to love yourself first, is the greatest love of all."--That's according to Whitney, but for me "Loving yourself ENOUGH first, will give you a role model of how a love should be like when you love another person.."
and that's when I think that someone destined for you is ready to come in your life..
My friend, we are here for you, we love you.
Love Lots,
B
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